Monday, November 27, 2006

When Nanna is Feeling Blue

Don't you ever hurt Nanna, the most sensitive and mellowdrama girl in this already dramacus world.
Because it's not very good to see what happens after Nanna cries or mumbles or shouts.

"Why is that?" Ok it's not you asking, but yes someone was asking, so I'd better answer.

"Because Nanna could be really blue," I answered.

"Everybody can be blue when they're sad," someone answered back.

"It's different," I answered back back. "Nanna could be obviously blue, like the blue shirt or blueberry jam or blue car."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" You finally shouted. (yes, YOU. You. The one who is reading this weird capsule called computer like right now)

I cleared my throat. "Nanna's hair becomes blue, her eyebrows become blue, her lips become blue, her eyeballs become blue, her freckles become blue, her pimples become blue...and her heart (if you could ever X-ray her body) also becomes blue."

"Roses are red,
Nanna is blue,
Sugar is sweet
and so are you"

Anybody doesn't get this story interesting raise your hand!
No!No! Put it down. Just pretend you like it, because Nanna could be really sad if she finds out this story about her doesn't goal your satisfaction. You don't want to make her blue ait....

Bully Shit

"Do I really look like a bull?" Jan suddenly asked his friend, Moore, while they were eating banana pancakes for breakfast at The Low Budget Cafe, the right cafe for taxi drivers, constructing workers, or magazine sellers. Jan and Moore are taxi drivers.
Moore snickered. "Man, I don't know...your nose is yes like a bull, but all the girls tell me you're cute. So don't you ever think about nip/tucking your bully nose. Since we won't spend our money for that inhumanity job. Right?"

Jan shrugged. "I just can't stand those eyes staring at my nose. This big, this bully, and this scary nose. I don't feel completed."

Moore didn't really understand his bestbud's last words.

Jan thought for a while, then he pointed his finger to the sky.

Moore stared up to the ceiling. "What?"

Jan rolled his eyes. "No, it's not about the ceiling. I just got an idea. I'll be back. Catch you later after our last shift HERE." Then he ran outside the cafe.

Moore only rubbed his perfect nose. "Thank God you're normal, my lovely nose. You're normal."

Eight hours later Moore has already been seated nicely at the cafe. He was terribly curious of what Jan might have done to his bully nose.

Ten minutes later, the cafe was buzzing like bugs.
A guy just walked into the cafe with his smiling face. Someone famous and perfectly handsome.

"Tom Cruise is in the house!" someone whispered from Moore's back.

Moore was now staring closely. Yes, it's Tom Cruise walking into this low-budget cafe. Where's Katie Holmes? No around?

Less than in a minute, Tom Cruise has stood up in front of Moore's face. "'s me, dude."
Moore shook his hand. "Yes, Tom. I know you. know me???"
This time Tom Cruise pointed his nose. Perfect nose. "I've changed myself to this guy named Tom Cruise. I'm Jan, stupid."
Moore almost choked his cigarette into his throat. "Holy cow!!! How come???"
Jan laughed. "I just talked to the real bull at the Oxteen Farm. I told that fucking bull to let me surrender this bully nose. He agreed and I suddenly became this fucking Tom Cruise in less than three minutes. No, it's actually four minutes."

Moore still almost choked himself. "You're telling me a bull shit!"

Jan/Tom Cruise nodded. "Yes, bull shit actually happens. And it's no bull shit."

Moore didn't have more words to say about bull thing.

Wonderland Filipi

Under that one big sky, people live differently. Someone is now making mustard sauce, other someone is buying a fish, other someone is walking his new dog, other someone is kissing other someone on the mouth, and Filipi is now hunting for a flower called "strada".

Her teacher told her that there's no such a thing as "strada" flower, or "strada" plant, or "strada" grass, but Filipi kept her wonderland mind inside her head. There is such a thing as "strada" flower, she said.

Filipi has been walking inside the jungle for 3 hours. Without companion, without food, without I-pod, and even without map.
She was really craving for that "strada" flower. Why?
It is because "strada" flower can make your lips popping up. Filipi loves pop-ups, from children pop-up storybook to pop-up birthday card. Now, she wants her lips to pop-up like those charming stuff. How could she ever get an idea about "strada" flower then? It's all from "kolk bug" pill. Guess what, I think you've given up all of her wonderland mind eh. Just forget it. Maybe this time we should better just leave it up to Filipi.

"I found it! I found it!" Filipi yelled to herself, and two squirrels not too far from her spot. "I found my "strada" flower!"

It's black, sometimes purplish under the lightest sunshine, and smells like a birthday card.

Filipi couldn't hide her glorifying laughters. "See! See! It's "strada" flower."

Then Filipi rubbed the flower all over her mouth as it was a lipgloss. 6 seconds, Filipi's lips felt like pumping and pumping...and she could feel it now. They're now popping up!

Filipi now got pop-up lips.

"Friends," said Filipi with her funny lips. "Since i've achieved this "strada" flower, now I want to look for "hugebell" fruit. It can grow up a pair of wings from your ribs."

Here Filipi goes again.

Rein Ortogello

That one day, Rein was eating pop corn in front of her 20" television, watching no good shows, listening to old buzzing radio next to her couch, moving-up-and-moving-down eyelids, shrieking Sam that little puppy, beating roofs of discoing mice, and on-and-off lamp on the desk. Rein wasn't an inspiring person, but she got this bow tie named Louisa, totally a trophy! She always wore Louisa to make sure that she still got someone to tight with.

Suddenly her cell phone rang. Rein was as shocked as she's once seen a wild cat wearing G-string around its butt and walking slowly like a stoned ho.
Her phone rang again. She never expected someone to give her a call outside office hour. She got nobody to talk to, usually, and now she had to pick up the reality.

Rein: Hello?
Someone (a man): Hi, you're Rein?
Rein: Who's this? Maybe you wish to call another Rein? There's also other Rein in my office. Rein Dass, she's the sales director. We split up customers sometimes, maybe--
Someone: I think I'm calling the right Rein. You're Rein Ortogello?
Rein (getting dizzy): What do you want, Sir?
Someone: I'm Stephen, I think we've met before. Remember? At Comfort Mart?
Rein: The guy with brown curly hair and lime green tennis shirt?
Stephen: Aha! You remember! Hi, how are you?
Rein: Are you still working as Comfort Mart's cashier?
Stephen (coughing): erhg..yes, Rein. But I'm the head of all the cashiers.
Rein: where did you get my number?
Stephen: You filled in that survey, and gave it to me. I just copied your phone number. Hope you're not mad?
Rein: You always do this to every customer? Bad you.
Stephen (as he looked to other 34 surveys with 34 names of single ladies on his lap): Yes.
Rein: (hung up the phone)
Stephen: I mean... no. damn!

Stupid Stephen calling, and Stephen couldn't do a simple white lie. Guess what, Rein almost dropped her frozen heart to that playboy head of cashier. So thank God that Stupid Stephen couldn't do a white lie.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

I'm In Love

I'm in love with:
Pablo, Sonny, Kim, Rascal, Buddy, Jeffrey, Thom, Lucas, Desstroit, Ben, Kun Yo Goong, Martin, Dale, Garrick, Long Pete, and Peter.

I'm in love and i'm in love with them all.

Pablo, Jeffrey, Ben, Dale, and Long Pete are in love with me too.

hihi. I bet you don't really like me.

My Favorite Park

Hello. My name is May.
I have one secret spot in this world. It's My Favorite Park.
My Favorite Park has 2 clouds, they are My Favorite Red and My Favorite Pink.
And also My Favorite Park has one colony of 9 grass, it is My Favorite Grass Colony.

When I'm feeling gloomy and crying out is a must, I just go to My Favorite Park and talk to them.

The 2 clouds usually pour down some rain to camouflage my tears.
And also the grass usually drink up my tears so it's not that useless.

I really love My Favorite Park and always be my secret spot.

Candy Hairdo Day

Dorin went to a salon called "Treat & Sweet".
The hairdresser asked her. "What do you want your hair to look like?"
Dorin thought for a while. She was really boyish, she never brushed her hair, she never put any make up on her face, and she never got any serious boyfriends. Maybe all these years, her triangle curly hair have been the worst part of all.

"I want to be the sweetest girl on earth," Dorin answered with a serious face. "Just do my hair anything you want."

The hairdresses started to work her job also with her serious face. Around an hour later, the hairdresser clapped her sweaty hands once. "It's served, Dear. Now you can pay the bills and be the sweetest girl on earth."

Then Dorin looked at herself through the honest mirror in front of her. " make my hair like a candy!"

Her hair was now neatly made into white & yellow stripes, totally like a lollipop. The cutting was also edgy, and she gave it a lick to some part of it. "Hmm!! Yummy! Absolute sweet!"

The hairdresser nodded. "Yes, it's caramel, cherry, and honey. Your hair is now a real candy of lollipoppa. Beware of ants and bees. You're the sweetest girl on earth. You got some hair with 80 grams of sugars. And if your nephew cried out for some sugary lick, your hair is all hers."

Dorin smiled happily and paid the bills. Her hair was as sweet as caramel as cherry as honey as "Treat & Sweet" hairdo.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Unfriendly Bikini

There was this one girl named Jessica who couldn't swim. She wanted to be a fish, but she couldn't swim. She wanted to see real corals in real ocean, but she couldn't swim. She wanted to make bulbs all over the water, but she couldn't swim.

Then her big sister, Norah, gave her the most useless thing to be given for Jess. It's a pair of green striped bikini. The top looked more like an aerobic suit. Jess really loved the bikinis she almost cried.

"Norah, I really love the bikini. Where did you buy it?" Jess asked with a happy smile. Her lips became wider and wider like a dolphin.
Norah smiled back. "From a department store. Wear it and give it some move okay. Learn how to swim."

Then Jess put it on to her body, half her feelings were happy, and some other half were a bit scared. Water was her most favorite element in this living community, but she never even tried once to swim.

"Oh, the bikini looks perfect on me," Jess said inside her heart as she stared her own reflection in the mirror. "I've gotta swim like right now," she convinced herself, again inside her heart. Beating heart.

Three hours later Jess was already standing stiff in front of a public lake near her house. "This is the time," she said, this time with her voice singing in the air. "This is the time!"

One, two, three.
Jess was still standing stiff.
Four, five, six.
Jess hasn't moved a bit.
Seven, eight, nine.
Her legs were trembling.
Jess was moving. Moving back to her house.

For this case, Jess asked for an apology, that she couldn't make this story feels tasty for you. Jess felt bad and never wanted to make you disappointed anymore. Would you forgive her for being so coward and weak for something that she loved so much? Some people indeed don't know how to sacrifice themselves for the things they love, and it's totally no big deal. Time never stops for the next jump.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Fin & 32 Good Friends

In that sunny day, not friendly sunny, but more like killing sunny, the appearance of unfriendly guy like Fin is not everyone's pleasure. Not even to that desprerate beggar lying on the ground right under the shadow of that unfriendly guy Fin.

Maybe it's none of other human business, but Fin has this serious problem which makes him better-be-deleted-than-never person. Thank god you don't even know who Fin is. Or maybe it's just getting better when Fin doesn't even know YOU.

The problem is, he has too many good friends, you know..not that kind of good. It's not good friends like best friends or closest's good friends like friends with good GPAs, good salaries, good lovers, good families, good health, good cars, and also good teeth.

While Fin himself is no good at all in those goodie things he see in his friends.

Fin has 32 friends in this world. They're all the same. They're all the same fucking good. God loves them so.
Even my old folks have never been this agreed that all of my friends are fucking good. Jeff, Brenda, Veronica, that rich Kyle, Chester, Duein, Joe, the young & successful Victor Kingsweep, and everyone on my phone list....

Fin took a deep breath. Now he was standing alone on the street, he looked at the world with full of jealousy. His eyes were flickering behind his old glasses.

"Sir, you're blocking my space. People can't see me, how am I supposed to get some money? Not even you standing here give me a bug." Suddenly the beggar spoke to Fin from the view of Fin's feet.

Fin looked down. "Shut up. But how if you become my friend?"

The beggar didn't feel interested. "What a freak."

Fin just shrugged. "What's your name? I"m Fin."

The beggar was now counting his pennies inside his dirty paper coffee cup. "I'm Fuck."

Fin shook his hand with happiness. "Thanks, Fuck. You save my life. Now I have 33 friends, and not all of them are too good anymore."

Fuck could only shook his hand back. "Yes, you're right. Now I have 3 friends and none of them are good. Fuck me."

What a sunny day with Fin & Fuck eh. Don't mind them. Thank god you don't even know who Fin or Fuck are, and yes thank god they don't even know YOU.

My Bloody Faggot

It's not my fault if Sara fell in love with me.
It's not my fault if Sara fell in love with me.
It's not my fault if Sara fell in love with me.

Oh my guy.

Sean Hunt kept writing on his pink zebra-printed notebook, while his quarter-left cranberry milkshake standing next to his Bottega turtle-skin clutch bag on the righter side.
Sitting alone on a coffee shop, is Sean's full-time job, and selling fake branded bags, is his part-time job.

Shit, here comes Sara again popping inside my rotten mind, he spoke to himself in terrible whisper.
There was this one lady, very highly-educated, with highly-maintenanced red hair, and oh my guy I always adore her Prada sunglasses.
Anyways, she's my very loyal customer. She kept buying my bags without her Phd brain. Oh my guy please she spent most of her me! Exactly to my fake branded bags, whether she will wear or give them to some third brand maniacs I don't so care.
Then then then... she confessed. She liked me, she's in love with me. Oh my birdie guy!

"Sara," Sean told her. Yes this lady was the one named Sara. "Sara oh my dear Sara."
"Stop calling me OH MY DEAR SHIT just like you call every one of your customers! Sean, I'm sorry... but I don't like those ladies keep buying your bags. I'm jealous. Sean, I'm in love with you."
Sean laughed so hard, almost cried. "Sara, you know I'm a gay."
"Oh my bloody faggot, Sean. I know that and I don't know why but I'm still in love with you. Can't you help me out, Sean?"
"Sara, maybe you should stop buying my bags and move on."
"Damn of your bags, Sean, I don't care, I buy it just to meet you, and even I never take it out from my baggage."
(So she didn't even give it to the third brand maniacs)

In no longer than twenty seconds, Sara's face now was full of cranberry milkshake. Her red hair was blended into purplish color.
Her red lips were lost in sight.
And thank god she wasn't wearing her Prada sunglasses today.

Sean put his glass of cranberry milkshake back onto the table, with his satisfaction smile, and random feelings.

Sara was screaming pretty hysterically. "You are bloody faggot!" And she gone.

Sean only shook his head. "Oh my guy. Women nowadays."
Then he took out his zebra-printed notebook from his Zegna leather office bag and started writing.

It's not my fault if Sara fell in love with me.
It's not my fault if Sara fell in love with me.
It's not my fault if Sara fell in love with me.

Holyloeyah & Her Magic Milk

Hi..i'm Holyloeyah. just call me H O L Y. and don't spell it H O L L Y

I used to be reallllly fat. know... frog.
Then I got so depressed...and I started to drink milk like a crazy puppy. I couldn't even stop it. gulp..gulp...and gulp...and yet I just want another glass of milk pleAse HURRY UP!!!

I thought I was going to be like the worst frog on the field.
then suddenly... miracle happened.
I got thinner...and thinner..and it just curved to the sexiest line.
And my boops were pretty shaped too. Baby whats going on..

But I don't care... who knows that the god of milk loves me, and he bless me with his magic milk...

Holyboops. Holyloeyah!

Lonely Ross

Hey..maybe it's only you who wants to read something about me.
Seriously, I have no friends. Not that much, but at least I have these 2 freak bestbuds (Yo Chen and Billy). They are vegetarians and sorry to tell you this but please don't puke up because they actually make this funny cream soup with their hair. Thank god supermarket has imitated meat, so they put it up together and honestly it's not bad at all.
I think I'll just write about something else.

My name is Ross, I'm a sensitive male, I like women, I don't hate gay, and I really want to have normal friends.
I am that kind of boy who knows a lot about surfing, gardening, and....believe it or not.. shopping... yes, shopping.
I can walk you along the street just to help you choose one pair of stilleto.
I won't get bored to see you stopping by at every store.

My body fragrance is vanilla, well just to convince that you're safe and cool with me.